Texx Big Burger

14783 108 Ave., Surrey, B.C.     www.texxbigburger.com

FOOD
We had big expectations going in based on the positive reviews online. The fact that there was a big-bellied fella sitting near the window as we pulled into the parking lot was another good sign. Unfortunately, Texx Big Burger in Surrey was a big disappointment. None of us was prepared to stomach the whopping Super Texx Burger — a monstrous burger with three 10 oz patties for $22.99 — but a few of us did try the Texx Big Burger, which has three 5-ounce patties for $12.99. The consensus seemed to be that the patties were a bit thin and dry and that it had the taste of a glorified McDonald's quarter pounder. The sesame buns were also spongy and we didn't particularly care for the process-y cheese. On the plus side, we all agreed that Texx Burger offers some of the best fries we've ever had and you get a mountain of 'em. 

AMBIENCE 
Basically what you'd expect from a strip-mall burger joint. It's got tables and chairs and, on the night of our visit, a flat-screen TV tuned in to Entertainment Tonight. The bright yellow walls are adorned with photos of smiling customers who conquered the Super Texx Burger.

SERVICE
Guy behind the counter was very friendly and took the time to walk us through the menu. But the fact that he had to explain the differences between burgers was laborious and seemed inefficient. Also, there was something off-putting about seeing employees go to the Greek place next door and bring back some pasta to eat in the main dining area.

VALUE
Yes, the burgers are large and will give your jaws a good workout. Yes, there's a decent selection of free toppings, including lettuce, tomato and mushrooms. But we can't honestly say you're getting a whole lot of bang for your buck from this eat-out-of-the-paper bag joint.

Summing it up, eating at Texx Big Burger is like a daytime drive through Whalley in a Mustang II with Alan Thicke in the passenger seat and the 24/7 celebrity gossip station on the radio.  (Visited on Dec. 18, 2013).

Hamburger Mary's

1202 Davie St., Vancouver

FOOD
Meh. You'd think a place with "Hamburger" in its name would .... well, you know where we're going. The initial bites held promise — the patty seemed to be of decent quality and had good heft to it. But the bbq flavour was there one bite, gone the next. There was also disagreement over the quality of the bun. In the end, there was just nothing that made our burgers stand out. Fries were good though.

AMBIENCE
Classic diner feel with vintage jukebox and nods to Marilyn Munroe and Clint Eastwood.


SERVICE
Bubbly. With personality.

VALUE
Just average. The place is a longtime fixture on Davie Street. We suspect its core clientele are more the all-day-breakfast-going crowd. Oh, don't get us started on the $7 dessert brownie.

Summing it up, eating at Hamburger Mary's is like driving a Volvo XC60 along Beach Avenue, with Jimmy Kimmel in the passenger seat and Madonna's La Isla Bonita playing on the radio (visited on November 13, 2013). 

Hog Shack

3900 Bayview St., Steveston, B.C.                hogshack.ca

FOOD
Its website promises "epic bbq." We had a pretty epic disagreement over the burgers here. One member of our group thought the Flatline Burger (double patty between two grilled cheese sandwiches) lived up to its "to die for" reputation, and even outranked a similar offering at Burger Heaven. He was particularly impressed the mammoth burger stayed intact down to the last bite. But another member complained the burger lacked char and that its flavour was flat and the rustic bun was a bit "chewy." A third member said he quite enjoyed his burger. We enjoyed the fries which reminded us of In-N-Out fries in the States.

AMBIENCE
Nice, airy hangout spot with red-checkered-tablecloth charm, albeit a bit quiet on the weeknight we visited.

SERVICE
Friendly, attentive service, though we were a bit gobsmacked at the lack of response from staff when a small, four-legged rodent was seen scurrying about in the dining area.

VALUE
Classic burger meal is $10. Dressed up burgers range from $13 to $18. If we come back we'll definitely want to give their bbq ribs a try.

Summing it up, eating at the Hog Shack is like driving a Scion XB through Drumheller, Alta., with Jenna Fischer in the passenger seat and Billy Joel's "Piano Man" playing on the radio. (Visited on Sept. 24, 2013)

Sophie's Cosmic Cafe

2095 W. 4th Ave. Vancouver     sophiescosmiccafe.com

Food This Kitsilano landmark is known for its breakfasts/brunches, but how do its burgers fare? Patties were nicely seasoned and healthy-sized, but we can't say we were 'wowed' by them. A couple of us thought our sesame buns were on the stale/dry side. We all thought the fries were top notch, though the in-house ketchup was a bit on the tart side. The offering of beans as a side is rare, and they were good!

Ambience It was a nice night so we opted for outdoor seating, which was very pleasant. First-time 'goers will enjoy the kitschy, colourful interior.

Service Attentive and cheerful.

Value At $12.59 for the "deluxe" burger, you're getting a decent amount of food for your money, though the consensus from the group seemed to be that we're not in any rush to come back (at least for the burger).

Summing it up, eating at Sophie's Cosmic Cafe is like driving a Chrysler 300 down Cornwall Avenue with Jay Leno in the driver's seat, while listening to Foo Fighters 'Best of you.' (visited on August 27, 2013)

Save On Meats

43 W. Hastings St. Vancouver www.saveonmeats.ca

Food This is a quality burger. It is on the small side, but it's a wonderfully well-proportioned burger, with a coherent flavour (nice seasoning, with a pleasantly sweet sauce), fresh toppings — including bacon and cheese — and a great brioche bun. Unfortunately, the fries seemed a bit overdone but we liked the sprinkle of green onion.

Ambience We love the airy diner atmosphere, exposed brick and booth seating.

Service Cheerful and attentive. Our server seemed to have mind-reading abilities.

Value At $6.95, it may be the best burger deal in town


Summing it up, eating at Save On Meats is like driving a Subaru BRZ through Gastown with Jeremy Lin in the passenger seat while listening to "Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell. (Visited on July 30, 2013).

Burgers Etc.

4091 Hastings St. Burnaby   www.burgers-etc.com

Food Good burger with good char, tasty sauce and generous toppings. However, a couple of us felt our patties were a bit on the skimpy side (ie. poor patty-to-bun ratio). There was also comment about barely noticeable cheese. Fries were hot and fresh but sorta plain.

Ambience We like the homey, diner-like setting. But, seriously, what's up with all the tiny ketchup paks? (though we concede there are issues with  mystery ketchup bottles with  greasy fingerprints).

Service Reasonable.

Value Average to above-average value, though we don't think it lives up to the CTV reader poll that named this best burger joint.

Summing it up, eating at Burgers Etc. is like driving a Ford Fusion Titanium southbound on Blenheim St. in Vancouver (you know, the section with potholes) with Jason Statham in the passenger seat and KISS' Rock and Roll All Nite playing on the radio. 

Cannibal Cafe

1818 Commercial Drive, Vancouver   cannibalcafe.ca

Food More mixed opinions within the group. One liked his two-pattied American Classic; didn't even care that there was no bacon. Another raved about the Montreal burger — a patty topped with smoked meat and sauerkraut. However, the Blue Cheese burger was just a bit overpowering with the blue cheese. Two of us thought the burgers were a tad on the dry side. We all liked the handcut fries, but what was the point of the side of salad?

Ambience Our mixed opinions carried over into a discussion of the interior. We liked the music posters on the walls but we couldn't quite tell what sort of a vibe they were going for — it's incomplete.

Service Decent, we suppose

Value Overall, prices were reasonable but we can't say there was really anything that set this place apart  —maybe except for the great onion rings.

Summing it up, eating at Cannibal Cafe is like driving a 2008 Honda Accord west along Bridgeport Road in Richmond to where it loops around into Russ Baker Way with Willem Dafoe in the passenger seat and "38 Years Old" playing on the radio. (Visited on May 23, 2013)

Burger Heaven

77 10th St., New Westminster   www.burgerheaven.ca

Food Fresh ingredients, high-quality meat with good char. Excellent wedge fries. One of our favourite places, for sure. A few minor complaints: if "the Works" had any sauce it was undetectable; one member of the group complained his burger's bbq sauce was a bit overpowering; burgers got a bit messy to handle.
Good shakes and good dessert.

Ambience We love the homey feel here and patron photos on the walls.

Service A little on the slow side and little underwhelming.

Value Great value overall.

Summing it up, dining at Burger Heaven is like driving a silver-coloured Mercedes SLS AMG Roadster convertible down Imperial Drive near Pacific Spirit Park with Cate Blanchett in the passenger seat and AC/DC's Hard as a Rock blaring through the speakers. (Visited on April 25, 2013)

Lost in the 50's Drive-In

Food Really decent, but messy.

7741 Edmonds St.  Burnaby, B.C. 

Ambience We sat in a painted plywood box that was built off the original facade and order window. Not comfortable, not a "properly restored" old diner. Probably would've been nice to eat outside if it was warmer.

Service Ok. Didn't expect much but didn't appreciate the sales pitch about how everything was made in-house and how great it was.

Value Splitz prices - without a proper place to sit down.


Summing it up, eating at Lost in the 50's is like sitting in a 1977 Pontiac Trans Am (Smokey and the Bandit style) parked in a Park & Ride with Steve Buscemi in the passenger seat and Whitney Houston's 'I will always love you' playing. (Visited on April 2, 2013)

Splitz Grill

4242 Main St. Vancouver  www.splitzgrill.com

Food "Frickin' great" was the consensus of our group. Burger Heaven (one of our all-time faves) should be worried. We thought the meat was top-notch with good char/crumble factor. Fries were as good as they come. The Splitz sauce seemed to make all the difference. They also make other homemade sauces. Lots of topping options.

Ambience Large wooden booths. Nothing fancy.

Service Good. Get to see the burger put together right in front of you.

Value About $12 for the combo, which we think is a pretty good deal.

Summing it up, eating at Splitz Grill is like driving an Audi S5 down Main Street with Sandra Bullock in the passenger seat while listening to 'Feel it Again' by Honeymoon Suite (visited on Feb. 27, 2013).

Burger Burger

340 Sixth St. New Westminster 

Food Real divided opinions among the group on this outing. The chili burger got a positive review. Another described their burger as "juicy." But others compared their burgers to meatloaf. "Lacked char," said one. A couple thought the buns had an odd taste to it.

Ambience You don't come here to appreciate the ambience.

Service Basic.

Value Can't go wrong with $4.45 for a basic 6 oz burger.

Summing it up, eating at Burger Burger is like driving a mid-1960s Dart on the stretch of highway between Abbotsford and Chilliwack with Jerri Ryan in the passenger seat, while listening to 'Hollaback Girl.' (visited on Jan. 23, 2013)